pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
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She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
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i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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