I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Send help, water and tortillas.
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