He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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