You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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