I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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