I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
