The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize