It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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