You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
