so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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