the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
