I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
