I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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