I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
