I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
