Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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