and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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