he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
