Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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