Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
