Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
