I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
