this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
