Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
