he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
