Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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