I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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