You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
