You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
