Plan B is the new Plan A
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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