There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
