Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
They have beer where we have blood.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
