Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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