You made me cry and you don't even care
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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