I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just found a bag of teeth...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
