Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
