What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
