so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
