We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
why do cheetos always look like penises
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
