escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
