I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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