you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
