You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
