Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
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Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
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