you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
