Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
