Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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