i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
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