It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
