I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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