Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm like, not good at living.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize