people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
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He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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