The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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