i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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