What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
