Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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