I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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