is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
