I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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