so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
