After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize