Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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