I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
