i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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